coming too soon...

i was looking at my calendar yesterday and noticed that it's already december 22nd. seriously only 3 days left until christmas?

when i was little i remember counting down the days, eating the chocolates out of the calendars, making christmas goodies with my mom and sister, being excited to buy and get presents, etc.

now i didn't even know what day it was. no goodies except for some cookies made and eaten with friends last week. no chocolate calendars. definitely not excited for presents in any way, shape, or form. it's kind of odd.
the only thing i'm looking forward to is not having to work for 3 days.

totally neglected this thing recently...

don't think anyone reads it, but whatever.


it is so fucking cold today. there's like 4 inches of snow, it's 0 degrees, and i have to work. i hate my job. holidays would make anyone hate their job especially when it's retail. normally i don't mind what i've been doing. the people are usually cooperative, nice, and funny. it seems like the holiday spirit just brings out the bitch in all of us.

and i almost got written up yesterday. two employees from the back office beat the system by buying/price matching TVs, buying them together, and using one person's 40 years of service $1000 gift card and 30% discount. my supervisor saw the receipt and called security on me. nothing like getting stared down by a fat, wheezing, sweaty guy for a half hour. what i did was legit and he knew it. he just said although it's not illegal, it is shady and that i wasn't the one that was doing the shady stuff. apparently it's disappointing when employees cheat the system like that... the way that company treats their employees, or at least the store i'm at, i am shocked more don't do it.

amanda fucking palmer

tomorrow is the night...

amanda palmer (w/ zoe keating & the builders and the butchers & the danger ensemble)
the bluebird theatre
denver, co
9:00pm


i am so excited and would encourage anyone in the area to buy a ticket. she is marvelous.

california dreaming...

so i got back from my week in california last night. we got to anaheim on sunday afternoon and went to my uncle's giant house in anaheim hills. there is an amazing chinese restaraunt down the street from their house that we went to. holy crap it was so delicious. they have some kind of honey coated shrimp that i ate like 7 pieces of, lol.
long story short, we stayed at their house until wednesday.

on monday morning we saw my cousins that i hadn't seen in 9 years, so that was nice. after that we went to laguna beach for the afternoon. i love it there so much and took tons of pictures. the tide was out so we were able to walk all over the rocks and stuff. it was cloudy and kind of cold so none of us went into the water.
on tuesday we went to downtown disney and walked around for a while with my cousin melinda. we had lunch at the jazz kitchen (meh) and shopped. i almost broke my finger in the bathroom of the restaraunt. i was trying to open the stall door and it was completely stuck. i couldn't budge it so i decided to just ram it down with my shoulder. it worked but when i was walking back to the table i noticed my finger hurt and was starting to bruise and swell up. it still hurts. that night the rest of my cousins came over, along with two older ones that drove in from arizona, and we had a baking fest. we made like 4 apple pies from scratch, 3 pumpkin pies from scratch, homemade pumpkin ice cream/ice cream cakes, some kind of orange cheese rolls, and an enchilada breakfast casserole. it was extremely fun and delicious. i could feel my jeans getting smaller and i hadn't even eaten anything yet.

wednesday started our 3 days at the disneyland resort. we checked into the disneyland hotel (which is not worth the money they charge you) and i was forced by the parentals to go into california adventure for the day. honestly, that park is a waste of time. there really isn't anything good. it's really not even disney-themed. it's like an old beach carnival with rides and corn dogs. we did get stuck on the water ride, though. and my sunglasses broke. and there was a damn high school musical 3 parade thing that i was forced to listen to for a while... i could have killed. the best part of that place was the toy story ride. it was like a giant arcade room and each character had their own game for you to play. i don't know if it was worth a 45-50 minute wait, but whatever.
we had gotten soaked on the water ride and it was cold outside, so we eventually went back to the room and put on dry clothes. we went into disneyland that night and did a couple rides and watched the fireworks show (also not worth it compared to other disney fireworks shows i've seen). you would think that we learned from going on a water ride in california adventure, but apparently not. we went on splash mountain and got soaked all over again and froze again.
BUT... i did finally see the haunted mansion holiday. they deck out the mansion in a nightmare before christmas theme. both times i went on the ride i didn't wait in line. it was great. the decorations were amazing, it went slow enough for you to look at everything, and it was one of the only rides that didn't have rude, snippy, overly flamboyant workers. the only bad part about no line is there was no time to stand and take pictures, so a lot of mine turned out kind of fuzzy because i had to keep moving.

thursday we went into disneyland again. rode rides, waited in lines, ate overpriced food, shopped, etc. the reason we took the disney vacation over thanksgiving is because my uncle told us it was the least busiest day of the year... wrong. it was so crowded and it wasn't even funny. we got into the park an hour early (7am and not 8am) because we were hotel guests, but that didn't do much good because the only parts of the park open that early are tomorrowland and fantasyland. everything else was roped off and still closed. we weren't even able to eat breakfast until like 10:00 because the food places weren't open yet. we left the park around 2 and went back to my uncle's to eat dinner with the family, stayed long enough to eat the pies i slaved over, and went back to the park for the night. we saw fantasmic (best show in the park) and the fireworks again.

by friday we were so tired that we didn't stay in the park that long or ride much because we had already done everything. we mainly walked around main street and did stuff that we never get to do because we're never there for more than one day. i got a silhouette done of myself with jack skellington and had peppermint ice cream. it made my sore legs and feet feel better. we left around 2 or 3 again and met with 3 cousins in downtown disney. we waited 2 hours to get into the rainforest cafe. it's a neat place but it was ridiculous to wait that long. we had 6 people and there were parties of 15 and 20 getting called over the intercom. how do you gather that many people for dinner or for a vacation? i was surprised. my parents went back into the park after dinner but i didn't. i was too tired so i went back to the room and slept.

saturday morning we argued over breakfast (i ended up eating at the ESPN zone with my dad), argued about which route to take home, and left. because we didn't leave until 11am we barely got through vegas before it got dark. we stopped in richfield, utah for the night and headed back out at 7:30am on sunday.
it was smooth sailing until we hit vail, colorado. it was a damn blizzard. we moved a top speed of 20mph the entire time through the pass. they ended up closing the vail pass about 20 minutes after we got through the pass. i had a friend going back to school in grand junction and hadn't gotten through when they closed the pass, so he got stuck in breckenridge. we hit an extreme traffic jam on the way to the eisenhower tunnel. we moved a grand total of 1 mile in a little over an hour. it was blowing snow, it was icy, it was freezing... it sucked.
we stopped in copper mountain to get gas and drinks and when we got back on the interstate they were shoving people off the road into the town of silverthorne. they closed I-70 completely. we slowly cruised around to try and find a hotel but every single one was full so we were sent to the local rec center for a shelter. i found a coffee table with an electrical outlet so i could charge my phone and talked to a guy from telluride for a while. we were there for maybe 2 hours when they opened the interstate back up and told people they could go. we went through the pass and tunnel at like 20-25mph and didn't reach normal speed until we got into denver because it wasn't snowing in denver.

the drive back sucked face, but we got home. i love california, but it feels good to finally be home.



here's all or most the stuff i did...

california adventure:
soarin' over california
grizzly river run
mulholland madness
toy story mania
muppet-vision 3D
bakery tour (not a ride, but i got free bread)

i would have done the tower of terror, but i would have gotten sick. didn't do the big rollercoaster either.

disneyland:
pirates of the caribbean (2x)
the haunted mansion holiday (2x)
matterhorn bobsleds
big thunder mountain railroad
indiana jones adventure
space mountain
star tours
splash mountain
jungle cruise
enchanted tiki room
finding nemo submarines
gadget's go coaster
autopia
snow white's scary adventures
pinocchio's daring journey
it's a small world
alice in wonderland
roger rabbit's car toon spin
sailing on the columbia (pirate ship ride)
monorail (main transport from the hotel to the park)

we didn't get to do mr. toad's wild ride or the peter pan ride. toad kept breaking down and broke when we were in line and peter pan had over an hour wait on all 3 days, so we said screw it. didn't do the buzz lightyear thing either.

twilight

the movie hasn't even been released yet and i'm sick of it. all these cheesy-ass teen romances with vampires loving humans has really crawled under my skin.

vampires are not supposed to be teens in love. vampires are bloodthirsty predators. they're devious, tricky, violent, and dead. honestly, even underworld kind of pissed me off with the love story between the vampire and the werewolf.
anne rice got vampires right, not stephenie meyer.

all these moron teenagers walking around with their t-shirts saying "edward and bella 4evr" is the most annoying thing i have ever seen.

i feel like watching V for vendetta...

i was just reading through the america serves section on change.gov.

"Obama will call on citizens of all ages to serve America, by setting a goal that all middle school and high school students do 50 hours of community service a year and by developing a plan so that all college students who conduct 100 hours of community service receive a universal and fully refundable tax credit ensuring that the first $4,000 of their college education is completely free."


where did he ever mention that in his campaign? i thought everyone was getting tax breaks for nothing. there was no community service requirement ever mentioned. he lied to everyone.




i don't like the talk that obama and rahm emmanuel did of this kind of civilian defense program, though. it resembles the domestic draft and i'm not happy about being stuck in the 18-25 age range that could be called to serve under a mandatory basis. i have no problem with people wanting to volunteer or with volunteer services (like the peace corps), but making it mandatory to get these tax breaks or to simply feel like you're doing your civil duty? sends chills up my spine.

call me whatever you want and slam me yet again, but if that doesn't resemble communism... holy shit.







now why do i feel like watching V for vendetta? this is the kind of shit they touched on in the movie and i think the US will look like that soon... we just had to elect this man.

i'm so excited...

for amanda fucking palmer.


there's only like 3 weeks until the show!
i went around and plastered up posters to advertise. it's kind of fun sneaking around and trying to advertise undetected.

this always happens.

a friend of mine got a work study job up in grand junction as a marketing person and all that. they're doing a movie night on campus and he asked me to dig up some movie trivia and help him out... being the good friend i am, i did.
i just scanned through my dvd shelf and came up with like one question per movie, which i had to research through imdb. i'm not that much of a movie nerd.
when i came across the saw movies, which by the other blog i wrote you could tell i had watched them recently, i found something interesting. shawnee smith fronted a punk band called fydolla ho, is in a country band with missi pyle called smith & pyle, and was featured on the saw III and catacombs soundtracks. i had always known her as the ditzy (but hilarious) receptionist in becker and as amanda in saw. i had no idea she could sing, let alone sing really well, or be so badass lol.

this always happens to me, though. i dug into the internet and found fydolla ho music and really, really like it... i always find bands when they don't exist anymore. damn it. any band that featured t-shirts with "got sex?" written on them has to be amazing. i want one.

we're fucked.

am i happy about our president-elect? no.

is it because of his race? no.




he's a communist. get past the "change" and "yes we can" slogans and look into his policies. saying the rich don't deserve their wealth and have to share is communism. he wants to implement this new civilian police force with equivalent power to the military and reminds me of the third reich in nazi germany.

i'm not happy. i'm not proud of my country. i wish my fellow citizens weren't so fucking stupid and i hope to God that he's only in office for one term.

did he try to save her?

i have no idea why, but for the last week i've been on a major kick of watching the saw movies.

it's funny how they're supposed to be these gory, shocking horror flicks and i see them as the complete opposite. not only are they more psychological thrillers and require you to have an IQ in order to understand them, but they have deep meanings and underlying themes. you have to pay attention to catch this stuff, though.
i feel like a complete nerd actually looking into the character developments and everything, but it really got to me for some reason...

i'll be the first to admit that saw didn't really have any true deep character development or anything because i don't think the writers/producers/etc. were expecting the reaction it got. it started as a little 8 minute short film that turned into a low budget movie of two guys sitting in a grungy bathroom with their feet chained to the wall. not something you'd make expecting to continue with sequels every year, right? but it got a great reaction, including from me, and people wanted more. they wanted to know what happened to the people chained up, to the police investigators, to the elderly cancer patient that layed in a pool of blood the whole movie only to get up at the end and say "game over." the only character other than jigsaw that was brought in with any possibility of continuing their story was amanda.
personally, i think amanda is the second most important character in the saw franchise (when the movies mattered) right behind jigsaw. i read into character pages to maybe see why he picked her in the first place and found something interesting. apparently there's a saw comic book that discussed jigsaw's life before his cancer diagnosis, which contradicts his occupation in the fourth movie, and his time in a rehab hospital after his cancer diagnosis/suicide attempt discussed in the second movie. it says that while in the hospital he is confronted with a disgruntled orderly (zep, who we're tricked into thinking is jigsaw in the first movie), a man who had attempted suicide (paul, the man from the razor wire trap in the first movie), a con artist (mark hoffman, the detective that is in the third and fourth movies), and a heroin addict who had overdosed (amanda, his apprentice in the second, third, and fourth movies). it says that these are the people that woke jigsaw up to how others waste and don't appreciate their lives. realizing how little time he has left, he decides to research these subjects and test their appreciation and will to live.
with that said, there's how and why he picked amanda.

in Saw II the characters really start to become prominent and really important. the way the movie begins with the venus fly trap test is typical jigsaw. nothing special. the movie takes off when it involves detective matthews. the audience is left wondering why him, what's so important, all that stuff... but a couple things really got me in the second movie. the first thing being when jigsaw is introduced sitting at his desk reading and eating a bowl of soup or something, he seems so sick and frail. he can barely lift his arms when the swat team comes in to put him in handcuffs and states that he can't even get out of his wheelchair to get down on his knees. how can a man as sick/weak as that carry on with his work? if he can't even get out of a chair or get a glass of water for himself, how could he possibly go out, capture these people to test, and implement the tools for the test? someone else had to be helping him and that's what the police missed the entire time. i noticed it when i saw the movie for the first time in theaters and thought it made a mockery of the intelligence these police officers apparently had of jigsaw's whole profile. especially allison kerry who gets completely owned in the third movie, but i'm not there yet.
the second thing was amanda. the other plotline in this movie apart from jigsaw and detective matthews was the 8 people in the house with the deadly nerve gas. everyone else is awake, freaking out, wondering where they are, looking around for reasons, and amanda is still unconscious on the floor. no movement or anything. people begin to talk and when addison discovers the ticking noise outside of the door that is the exact moment that amanda wakes up and makes a dramatic entrance to, i think, distract them from the door. it works, too. she immediately begins throwing a tantrum and looking for the tape recorder. the interesting thing about this was when she was tested in the first movie with the reverse bear trap mask she didn't have a tape recorder to find. she woke up in a chair and had the television video with the puppet just like the man at the beginning of the second movie with the venus fly trap mask. how would she immediately know to look for a tape recorder? to me, that was the main clue to her being involved in a different way. by saying the tape had everything they needed to know was another hint. more hints and clues came in as the movie progressed.
examples:
how she's constantly walking around looking for objects instead of doors/tapes like everyone else.
how others are weak/in pain/sick looking/and coughing up blood while she looks fairly healthy and never coughs once
how she waits for daniel to spill the beans about who his father is (you can tell in her facial expression)
she yells "he had a choice" as she walks away from obi being burned to death.
the list continues, but the last one is very important. throughout the movie she begins to appear terrified by the sight of death and at the sight of these traps. why would she be so cold to the first one and just say someone had a choice? that is the introduction to the problem jigsaw talks about in the third movie... amanda's emotion is her weakness.
the only difficult one to decipher is the hole full of needles she's thrown into by xavier. she makes no attempt to run or get out before xavier spots her and i think notice her emotion regarding them. that scene is also after her telling daniel about her drug addiction which is probably why he is so shaken up by her being thrown into the needles and tries to comfort her afterwards. to me, the only unfair part which you think about after her partnership to jigsaw is revealed is why would be put that test in the house and who put it in the house? i don't think she would have been too happy about that one knowing she was going to be involved in the test, especially when you see her emotional reaction to the needles. is amanda just a continuous test to him?
but in the end, you find out she is the one who will carry the jigsaw torch after he is dead through the tape left for detective matthews after he is locked in the bathroom. i think that jigsaw led matthews to the house on purpose so amanda could get her first test subject/revenge. but was that by sheer accident or because he knew he'd never get him there any other way?

sure, they could have ended with just one sequel but they left the important characters too open, yet again. Saw III is really the last one worth talking about because not only does the storyline with a jigsaw successor get shot to hell (literally lol), but they kill off the two most important characters.
i don't feel the need to give a summary of the movie but just to continue the importance and meaning of amanda's character. again, it's little things that you have to catch and pay attention to in order to really get.
the thing i really liked about the third movie is that they showed the whole background of amanda's involvement with jigsaw and her evolution into a true killer, not into a jigsaw successor/copycat. the flashbacks are essential to this.
if you notice in the flashback of her helping him set up the bathroom test in the first movie, she seems extremely terrified and possibly under a stockholm syndrome type attitude. she's an emotional wreck from what seems to be before she captures adam in his house up until she has the nightmare of adam escaping and trying to kill her. that's when you get a first glimpse at her transformation because she sneaks away from jigsaw's room while she thinks he's asleep, goes to the bathroom, and performs what she thinks is a mercy killing (her saying, "i'm going to free you"). i think she killed adam as a safety precaution because of her nightmare. regardless of the reason, that was the first mistake and jigsaw witnessed it and knew what she went to do because he was awake when she left. like allison kerry says at the beginning, the point of jigsaw's test is to escape a better person at your own will. amanda takes away their free will and traps them in inescapable tests.
her evolution continues as you see her flashbacks to her own test with the mask, her swearing her life and dedication to jigsaw regardless of her obvious uncertainty and fear, her physical and emotional violence toward lynn, her underlying anger toward jigsaw, and her self injury practice. the self injury is an important thing to notice. in the flash of her swearing herself to his practices and him saying every mark on her body is from another life is key. the tools she uses to burn and cut herself are not only kept hidden behind the curtains in her own space in his lair, but they are kept locked in a box hidden under her pillow. not to mention the cuts on her body were on her upper thighs, and who knows where else. places where he couldn't see them. her loyalty to him was never untainted. when she left her heroin addiction behind she resorted to other forms of self destruction and used guilt and pain from the tests on herself. i think her realization that she couldn't be him was the part that got her the most and that's what made it so hard for her.
but regardless... she had a deep connection to jigsaw and maybe even a love for him. this is shows in her desperation and anger toward lynn to keep him alive along with her completely breaking down emotionally after his seizure and back-alley brain surgery. it's obviously showing that she isn't ready to let go and isn't ready for him to die.
however, it quickly morphs into anger with him saying "i love you" to lynn after he comes back from a vision of his ex-wife and to the comment made by lynn saying he couldn't hear amanda and didn't know she was there when she was hugging him on his bed. it made her snap and nearly pull a gun on lynn. even after he wakes up, tells her to put the gun away, and commands her to leave she still has some resistance and it takes her a minute to snap back and walk away with her hand still gripping the gun. definitely not someone you want to piss off. it is at that moment that he reveals his knowledge of amanda's emotional behavior and weakness. the question is, why does he want for her to succeed and carry on his legacy when he knows she's too emotionally unstable to do it?
when it is revealed that jeff completed his 3 tests he tells amanda to release lynn and she refuses. this is the part you need to pay attention to. by amanda saying lynn didn't deserve to go free because she didn't learn anything is really amanda preaching to the converter. amanda was the one that didn't learn anything from her test. by her saying no one is reborn, that people never change, and mocking jigsaw by telling him to fix her is all the proof you would need. it's all underlying anger due to the fact that she knows she can't continue on the legacy the way he would want her to.
i wonder what would have happened if she wouldn't have gotten killed by jeff. what would jigsaw have done with her then? or an even better question, what would she have done with him? i think she planned on killing both lynn and jigsaw because of one reason that i don't think very many people catch... the door to the lair that jeff was supposed to come through after he unlocked the fence was originally locked. when lynn was dismissed after amanda refused to leave the room she does some snooping and unlocks the door by picking the lock open. when amanda returns she angrily asks why the door was open. was it just another example of amanda making a game unwinnable or was it a plan of her own that got ruined and ended with her getting fatally shot in the neck? jeff wasn't supposed to get through the door. he would have had to waste the only bullet he was given on opening the door leaving no bullets left to kill amanda or jigsaw. that means amanda with a presumably fully loaded gun would have had the option and availability to kill all 3 people and walk away with his legacy. he was too helpless and sick to defend himself against her and i think that's what she was counting on.
the line that is most important is when amanda is talking about jeff's first test with the woman in the freezer. she begins to break down into tears when she tells jigsaw, "he tried to save her."
i think that's symbolism for what he tried to do with amanda. he tried to save this young woman and give her a fighting chance... i think in that sense he failed his own test. someone should have said "game over" to him.


with all that said, they should have ended with Saw III. it had the best plotline, underlying themes, and symbolism that actually linked to the other movies. with Saw IV, they were just stretching in order to continue with the movie franchise. you can't make movies after the two main/important characters are gone.

what is the point?

i logged onto my online geography class to complete an assignment. it was a map assignment where we had to list the capital, state bird, and state song of 45 states.

45?! why not just make us do all 50?



i swear like 95% of the 45 states i did had the cardinal as their state bird or *insert state*, my home as their state song. it's ridiculous. i hate geography.

i just had a thought

why is obama and the democratic party pushing early voting so hard?
what if something happens in the next two weeks that would sway voters away from the dems... if someone has already voted, there isn't anything to do. are they that afraid of a potential loss?








i can't wait for this election to be over with. it's turning out to be such bullshit.

what the hell...

http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalradar/2008/10/biden-to-suppor.html





sounds to me like something is being planned or counted on... and that is creepy as shit.

early parties aren't all bad.

my friend hayley held an early halloween party last night at her house. despite being the only person (out of about 20-23 kids) that was 20 years old, i still had fun.

when i got there around 6:00 there were only about 4 other kids there. they were just sitting around eating candy and watching final destination 3 on tv, which was really lame because those movies are cut to hell if it's on cable. after like 6 more kids arrived (all freshmen in high school) we started arguing about a movie to watch. lu works at blockbuster and got a movie called zombie strippers. the freshman were uneasy because most of them have never seen tits before but they were quickly outruled by the few older people there, including hayley.

i feel like i lost IQ points. it wasn't scary or anything like that. it was just funny.
basically here's the movie... the military is trying to kill the zombies, a soldier gets bit, randomly winds up in an underground strip club, jenna jameson is a stripper there, while dancing she gets bit, turns into a zombie, starts getting all the money, the other strippers are jealous, jenna bites them, they all become zombie strippers, the club owner (robert englund, lol) wants them gone, jenna and the other strippers bite people during lapdances, turns into zombie central, the military busts in and kills the zombies... movie over.
the funniest part in the movie is when jenna jameson and another stripper are fighting. the stripper is trying to attack jenna so she grabs balls from the pool table and starts shooting them out of her vagina at the other stripper.

i don't think the freshmen will ever be the same, lol.



after that i just went upstairs and chilled with the seniors/other graduates while the other kids played in the backyard on the trampoline in the dark.
lots of candy, mountain dew, pizza, and dead baby jokes. surprisingly no alcohol.
my friend john (who graduated with me almost 2 years ago) told a terrible dead baby joke to the freshmen... what's the difference between a dead baby and a piece of pizza? i don't cum on my pizza before i eat it.
again, i don't think those kids will ever be the same.



a party with a bunch of oversugared kids that were mostly 4-5 years younger than me was actually pretty fun. apparently i left before it got really crazy, but whatever. i don't really care.

nick and norah

so i went and saw nick and norah's infinite playlist tonight with a couple friends.

i actually enjoyed it more than i thought i would. initially it didn't seem like something i would like, and it had that annoying kid michael cera in it, but after about 20 minutes of the movie i was already really into it and very amused. the humor was right up my alley for the most part. it made me aww.
i like kat dennings, too. i liked her in charlie bartlett.

but yeah... worth seeing at least once.




the only annoying part was that my friends immediately started calling me norah. they said the character was a lot like me... first juno now this.

this is so annoying...

so i ordered that spiffy $100 package for WKAP... originally there was confusion among the AFP people and musictoday. one said we'd get the t-shirt/signed cd first and then the rest of the stuff in november and the other said everything would ship together in november. along with everyone else i was like, wtf? i wouldn't have ordered all that cool stuff if i knew i would have had to wait 3 months to get something in the mail that i could have gone out and bought 8 days later.

after a couple weeks the AFP people said it was a mistake that was fixed. we'd soon be getting our shipping emails with the t-shirt/signed cd and then get another one with the rest of the stuff in november... well, there still must be some confusion because it's still not right. i got my first shipping email this morning, got excited, and then noticed it only included the signed cd and not the t-shirt.

what is it with these guys and choosing shitty online stores? first jsr fucked a lot of people over on no, virginia... (the book and the cd pre-order) and now musictoday is fucking the $100 package people over with the WKAP pre-order.

annoying... i don't blame the AFP people or think they're intentionally fucking people over, but seriously. this is originally why i didn't want to pre-order, or order at all, this album online.

so all the stuff...

what did i get for my birthday...

a jack skellington christmas ornament
a jack sparrow christmas ornament
uncharted: drake's fortune (PS3)
star wars: x-wing rogue squadron
$25 hot topic card



and i bought myself...

120GB iPod classic
$30 of iTunes cards






woot.

!

it's my birthday, woot.


totally going to rodizio's tonight. i love that place so much.

woot

i'm going to rodizio's for my birthday tomorrow. i effing love that place.

they have grilled pineapple... drool.




the weekend was really crazy. i had to work a lot and found out my co-worker got mugged/kidnapped at gunpoint on thursday night. everyone was so shocked and scared. she came in on saturday and her face was so bruised up, her one eye was bright red, and she was really shaken... scary stuff. makes you really love this city.

sarcasm intended.

busy on december 6th?

i have my ticket already. i'll probably make some copies of this and post them around, too.

so...

i'm kind of feeling like i'm losing my mind right now. stress does miraculous things to you.




but my birthday is in 10 days. kind of odd to think i'm going to be 20.

YES!

i bought my ticket for amanda palmer already.

12/6, baby!

my voice is shot

so i was talking a lot at work yesterday, which is already odd because i honestly don't talk much. that made my voice a little scratchy. then my friends came over, well 2 out of the 3 because one of them was being an anti-social freak, and we decided to play rockband and do karaoke for 4 hours straight.

i don't think i have ever sang so much britney and n*sync in my entire life. we also did a lot of michael jackson. the kid is not my son, bitches.
this morning my voice is completely shot. i don't know how singers and performers talk/sing all the time. it does not work for me.

didn't even realize until now.

tomorrow is september 11th.


i don't know about anyone else, but i still have the images of the planes crashing burned into my memory. i don't think the images will ever go away.









my prayers go to those whos lives were unfortunately cut and to the troops who have died fighting for our country. i still think we're fighting the right battle.

we killed it

i am officially a poor mofo now. i blew almost $120 on the "who killed amanda palmer" pre-order. i decided to get the most expensive package because it had so much cool stuff included. hopefully it'll be even better because i was one of the people that got a heads up on the pre-order on the official forum so i think i'm one of the 250 out of 672 that get more than amanda's writing on the stuff.

i did feel like a complete dork, though. when i got through to the link i was so excited and in a rush to get it done that i completely blew past choosing which t-shirt size i wanted. i got my confirmation and saw, "WKAP shirt, small" and i just went, FUCK! there is no way my big ass is ever fitting into a small.
but i called them and they were able to change it. to anyone reading this that had the same problem, just call. it only took about 2-3 minutes to get it resolved.




but i am really tired now. sitting around in an uncomfortable, old computer chair all day does wonders to your body. all i can say is at least sean posted the next WKAP video a day early as a thanks to everyone that sat around and waited. that boosted my energy up a little bit.

does this make me an obsessed fan-girl?

...

i am going against everything i said previously and pre-ordering "who killed amanda palmer."


the chance of her playing a concert in your fucking living room is too good to pass up. i know i won't win, but it never hurts to try... that and i want the spiffy stuff in the $100 bundle.

that is if i can pre-order it and be one of the 672 people that are allowed. if not, it's the $34.99 bundle.

worth a try

for my music appreciation class we have to do a 5-7 minute oral presentation about something musical. the catch is it can't be over classical music or old composers. i don't know about the other people in my class but this made me really excited because i immediately thought of the perfect artist to do my presentation on...

amanda fucking palmer.


my professor said he's looking for uniqueness, freshness, and preferably something or someone that a lot of people might not know about. i think amanda fits those things and much more.
seeing that most people probably would not know who amanda palmer is without the dresden dolls, i'll be including her musical companionship with brian viglione as well.

it's perfect. there are so many resources, art pieces, quotes, songs, and things i haven't thought of yet that i could use in this presentation. i want to do it early so i can maybe introduce people to her around the release of the new album, "who killed amanda palmer."
i'm thinking of making a 3-4 song sampler to give to everyone as a gift along with using songs and video for the presentation itself.

i'm excited.







my excitement for this made me feel better for not being able to go to the nine inch nails concert at red rocks tonight. i still regret not buying tickets... damn it.

hmm...

so i went to the taste of colorado with my sister today. for those unfamiliar, it's a food/drink festival that takes over civic center park in denver. there are restaurants and little shops that set up along the streets. you buy tickets and at each tent they have food or drinks available for you to get with your tickets. they range from tastes, which are just little samples, to full meals. obviously full meals take up most of your tickets (some are up to 18 tickets) so i went around and got samples which range from 1-5 tickets.

along with a really good sample of a black peppercorn steak, i ate alligator... yes, alligator.
here's a picture of it:it really wasn't that bad. it smelled kind of like fish and had a really unique taste. i would have eaten the whole cup but the fact that i knew i was eating alligator tail got to me and i couldn't finish it. my sister couldn't either. i ate two pieces and she ate two.

not something i would eat again but i'm glad i tried it.

new camera ftw!

i finally got a replacement for my old, broken down panasonic.


i got the black one.
it was great because i'm able to shop at the air force base, and they price match, so i found the camera in the best buy ad for $199 and brought it in. i saved about $45 including tax because the base has no sales tax.

now i'm just figuring out how to use it. i need to load the software and stuff.

bitches...

i don't understand how people willingly go into a career in politics.

politics is a nasty thing. say your views to the wrong people and you'll get attacked. people that don't even know everything you stand for will make assumptions from one statement and just slam you.
no wonder tabloid magazines are so successful. they're based fully on the assumption. it's wrong.

mccain/palin

i think this pretty much locked my vote for john mccain.

honestly, i don't like him. i never liked him. i do, however, like sarah palin. i can admit that before today i had no idea who she was. i heard the name and was like, who the H is that? after doing some research on her background and her policies, i got more comfortable with the idea of voting for mccain.

was picking palin a smart move? i think so. there are a bunch of bitter hillary clinton supporters that just might vote for mccain now because he had the balls to do what obama didn't. they'll do it just to stick it to the democrats for throwing the clintons under the bus.

do i think the gop can win? i sure hope so. the thought of 4 years under barack obama is terrifying to me. the guy is a communist with less experience than anyone on both tickets. even though palin hasn't been governor for long and is younger, she's been involved with city councils and lower offices since 1992. obama was a community activist... not exactly the same kind of thing.


either way you look at it, this election is going to be very interesting. i just hope the right ones come out on top.

i hate being sick

i always seem to get sick right when it is severely convenient... sarcasm intended.

i just started school, a new job, and teaching drum lessons.
what happens? i get sick.


i was at school yesterday completely miserable and doped up on advil/cough drops because my throat hurt so much. i could barely talk without having to clear my voice after two words.
i'm glad people invented nose spray because i have to be at work for 9 hours today. it's going to be a fun day.

made my day. haha

LOL

not so bad.

school is school to me. the fact that it's college doesn't seem to phase me anymore after a year and a half.

my first day of the semester went pretty well. i like the fact that all of my classes on tuesdays and thursdays are 75 minutes. the day goes by a lot quicker than having a 75 minute here, a 180 minute there, back to a 75... etc.

a breakdown of it all:

music appreciation (9:30 - 10:45) -- it's a class of about 20-22 people. very small room with a piano, tv, and gigantic stereo. the professor is this quirky, grey-haired guy who is so quiet at times that you can't even hear what he's saying. i think i'll enjoy it. i've played instruments my whole life and know a lot about music already, so it's fun.

child development (11:00 - 12:15) -- about 40 people in this one. the professor for this one is an interesting one. it's this hefty lady with wild curly hair, glasses, tongue stud, tattoos, who is very in your face and loud. she seemed enjoyable and i can't really not take the class because i need it for my major. there's like no boys in there, too. maybe 3 or 4. the rest are girls.

intro to literature (12:30 - 1:45) -- this one is a bit smaller than the psych class, but still about 30 people in it. primarily all girls in this one, too. there are 5 guys in the class. the professor is this old hippie looking guy. bald, white goatee, turquoise earrings, turtle/wave tattoos on his arm, ranting about the DNC on the first day already... it'll be interesting.


we'll see how math goes tomorrow. i should probably do my work and not procrastinate because i have to work tomorrow morning.

one of the best videos i have ever seen.

i'm completely at a loss for words right now.





very rarely do videos and music make me tear up, let alone full on cry.
this one did.

for some reason, along with the rest of the official message board, it hit everyone so powerfully that they actually cried. but why?
is it the fact that it's a song inspired by school shootings and now has a visual companion?
is it the way amanda is walking around like an angel of death?
is it the piano chords?
is it the vocal intro?
what is it?


i don't think i really want to know.

holy crap.

so i'm in the middle of burning my sister like 50 cds (not even exaggerating) and it has made me realize something... i probably should get a new iPod.

i have a 4GB right now that i love because it's the green one and it's small. however, it's kind of a drag because i constantly have to delete and re-arrange what i have on it because my computer has like 17GB of music loaded on it, not to mention two giant boxes of cds that i haven't loaded yet. if they were loaded, i would probably have like 25 GB of music. i'm constantly getting new music, too.

so... i think i'm going to get an iPod classic. they're freakishly large in size, but all of my stuff would fit on it. that and i could actually put the album art in there too... and pictures... and maybe videos. i haven't decided on that one yet.

makes me wonder...

do the white, gangster kids know that they look like idiotic assholes?

i mean... white kids and big daddy clothes (flat billed hats and shirts/shorts that are like 4 sizes too big) do not look good. they don't even look good on black people. they make you look stupid.
waddling down the hallway because your waistband is so low that you can't move your legs is not appealing. you look like you took a dump in your pants.

i was honestly shocked

so i was with two of my friends tonight and we were trying to think of something to do. after thinking of the obvious things (movie, mall, sex store, etc.) one of us came up with the idea to go skating. i haven't been skating in almost two years and used to be really good at it so we started texting other friends to see if anyone wanted to come... long story short on that, apparently skate city really isn't cool anymore because we were the 3 that went in and the 3 that left.

when we got there we thought we arrived on a good night because there were like 5 cars in the parking lot. usually when it's busy the lot is filled. we get in line to pay (it was freakin' $6 a person. i remember when it was $2) and were surprised when we walked through the doors because the place was full of people. i thought to myself, why the hell are there so many little kids in here (by little i mean like 12-13) and then i realized it... school just started. i bet anything we came on the night of one of the middle school skate parties.
turns out i was right. there were two schools having their bash.

when we rented our skates i was a little paranoid because i was never able to skate right on the 4 wheel roller skates. you know, the ones that look like this:
i always skated on roller blades, but skate city is cheap and don't rent out roller blades and i outgrew mine when i was like 14.
we got out on the rink and i tried to fit in with the youngsters and dance with the rap music but i realized some things pretty quickly...
1. i'm like 6-8 years older than all of them
2. i'm white and can't dance
3. i couldn't skate right in those cheap-ass rentals

i have problems with migraines and stuff so after a while i was having a hard time staying on the rink but john and lu kept skating. i found it more fun to just stand on the side and people watch. maybe catch a glimpse of the kids that are, for the most part, right behind me in age. while watching i had an awakening that was amusing, but very shocking...

these kids are fucking whores.

i mean, i hear the stories of middle schoolers giving/receiving blow jobs and drinking and stuff. not to mention i was in middle school once, but it has gone farther since i was in that age bracket. these kids are gathering at certain parts of the rink and booty quaking, riding the walls (in a very sexual way), humping the walls, touching themselves, dropping to the ground and humping the floor, randomly making out with different people, randomly humping different people... basically the things that you see adults doing in night clubs, these 12 year old kids were doing it at skate city.
there was this group of kids that would gather at one part of the rink every 10 minutes, or so, and do exactly what is described above. this one boy who barely looked 12 kept going to random girls and grabbing their ass, touching their tits, kissing their neck and shoulders, pinning them in a corner and humping them, etc... the best part was that each time i saw him do it, it was with a different girl. john came and watched for a little while and we counted 4 different girls, not to mention the 2 he did it to before i had company.

i don't know about anyone else but where my mind lives that's called inappropriate public behavior. the fact that these kids were in middle school just makes it worse. i would expect that from high schoolers, but middle schoolers?!
i remember going to the skate city parties when i was in middle school and back then there were actually school officials at the parties. they put the fear into us that if we did something stupid we would not only be kicked out of skate city but they would call our parents, they'd take our name, and we would also get suspended from school. there were a couple kids that tested the threats and when we didn't see them for the next 2-3 days, no one pulled anything at the school events.
excluding the 3 of us, there were maybe 4 other adults in there. none of them were teachers or assistant principals. they were older siblings or parents. i guessed there were maybe 150-200 kids in there with no adult supervision. half of the employees on duty looked like they were under 18, too.

it's just crazy. the 3 of us kept saying to each other, "what the fuck? why was no one like this when we were in middle school? these kids are whores and they're only 12-13!"
in addition to the hump crazy skaters, there were 3 pregnant girls... pregnant 7th graders. wow. there was one girl that got pregnant when i was in middle school (out of all 3 years). now there are 3, not counting any others that decided not to go to skate city or any that haven't gotten pregnant yet. the way i saw the kids acting out on the rink i'm shocked there weren't 10 pregnant girls standing around.

is this really what our youth is going to, people? 12 year olds should be going to skate city to actually skate and have fun. they shouldn't be going to wait until the lights are down and the music is bumping so they can make out and have dry sex on the rink in front of other people.

i'm by no means prude or naive. if you knew me in person, i am very far from it... but this is disgusting and it has really opened my eyes. no wonder our youth has so many problems. there is no room to actually be a kid. i guess times really have changed. it's sad that they change so quickly.
just think... i left middle school just 6 years ago. do things go to hell in a hand basket that quickly?









and i hit a bunny rabbit on the way to the rink. john jumped out of the car, ran after it, and said i didn't kill it. he thinks i just bumped its ears but it still scared me and i still started crying.

just because.

still on the subject of nine inch nails:

i made this in march with my friends for the ghosts film festival trent reznor announced around that time.

it's not perfect but it's what you get when you put teenagers together with a video camera, an iPod, and windows movie maker... and here it is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2M3-VtDSLY



enjoy.

how addictions start.

i often wonder to myself how addictions start.

most people have super theories and have done research, but do we all believe that they know what they are really talking about? most of the time i don't think i do.

i was listening to nine inch nails last night and got to wondering... how did i even start liking this band let alone become totally addicted to them? yes, we can become addicted to music just like people get addicted to cigarettes and drugs.
the only thing i really remember was i had just started 7th grade. there was this girl that i'm no longer friends with that liked the band. i'd never really heard them and was all, ok that's cool. i brushed off her liking for about the first 3-4 months of school and then figured after a while that i might as well give them a try. before i decided to ask if i could borrow a cd the band was just kind of pushed on me unexpectedly.
back in those days (aka, the year 2001) there was a secret way to get mtv2 even if you didn't have digital cable, which i wouldn't get for like another year. if i remember correctly it was channel 55 on any tv that didn't have cable at all. the little 13-inch tv in my room was permanently set on 55 for like two years because if you changed the channel, you risked losing mtv2 forever. that happened to 3 of my friends.
i was spending one of my usual nights sitting in my room watching the crappy quality of the channel when i felt thirsty, so i left to get some water. when i came back some program had started and it was basically piano and a kind of creepy vibe. i was intrigued enough so i started to watch it not having any idea what it was, along with 99% of the stuff i watched on mtv2.
the first song titled "march of the pigs" started with this wicked drum beat and electronic melodies popping out. i just sat there in awe wondering what the hell i stumbled upon. after the song was over i didn't really know what to think. i sat there with two thoughts going through my head, "that was really cool" and "who the H is this?!"
there was a pan to the side where a logo with an N, an I, and a backwards N appearing in a box and it said the words "nine inch nails" below it. all i thought at that moment was, holy crap.

i kept watching only intending to watch for another song because it was late and i had school the next day, but i ended up watching the whole thing. i went to school the next day asking the friend to burn me every single nine inch nails cd she had. turns out as we became better friends and i got to know her mom more, her mom had met trent reznor several times (he knew her by name) and had NIN memorabilia, tapes, etc., and music up the ass. to this day i blame them for fueling my addiction, but also to this day i don't mind it. without NIN i probably would have followed the cutting, emo crowd after 8th grade... trent reznor saved my ears and my wrists.

to sum up the rest of 7th grade up until now, i listened religiously. back then if you had an mp3 player you were either asian or rich, so people like me were still stuck listening to cd walkmans until like junior/senior year of high school. my walkman had NIN in there for like two years straight. occasionally i would take them out to listen to something else, but the cd would go in the stereo in my room. every notebook, cd player, cd book, book cover, hoodie, piece of homework, backpack, anything had this logo on it.


am i still that addicted? no. i'll admit it took me until about my junior year of high school to stop automatically drawing the logo on all of my stuff, but that's still in no way addicted. since getting an iPod about a year ago i've managed to listen to the downward spiral only 9 times. up until i actually got the a real copy in 10th grade i had to re-burn it 7 times because the cd wore out... do the math. that's only 3 and a half years. how many listen throughs does it take to wear a cd out? i could tell you, but i don't want a restraining order.

am i truly addicted? in some sense, yes. i don't have a reznor shrine or stalk him or anything, but i do have 8 NIN shirts... and dozens of stickers... and two patches... and every single cd... and have seen them in concert 3 times (including buying tickets for 3x the price on eBay in order to go the first time)... and could probably win a NIN themed jeopardy match (twice)... and can point out the lyrical error in the label version of "starfuckers inc." vs. the live version... and almost got "now i'm nothing" tattooed down my forearm... and still know the words/melody to almost every single song and could recite them on cue... and know how to get the secret menu on the "and all that could have been" dvd... and waited outside of circuit city in the rain to get year zero the morning it was released... i can't even name everything. the only thing i think i haven't given into yet is i haven't joined the spiral. i still remember my NIN access code from 2002, though.


so again... how do addictions start?
i always come to the conclusion that the spark is simple. it can take something as little as how two chords follow each other, what someone's voice sounds like, what something smells like, what something tastes like, how it feels, etc.
the reason without sounding like someone that has a degree in psychology... you get a taste of something and you want more. the want and love for it never goes away. you are able to channel it, of course. if you couldn't people would never kick drug habits or quit smoking. but i guarantee if you light a cigarette around any ex-smoker, something inside of them will go, "that would be so nice."

that always randomly happens with me. something i look at will make NIN pop into my head for whatever reason, most of the time i don't even know why, and my mind says "that sounds nice."
i spend the rest of my night listening to them. it's just that simple.

let's begin, shall we?

i don't really know why i created this thing.

i think it's a combination of feeling lonely at times, wanting to piss and moan but not to anyone specific, and simply having nothing better to do online.


i've been thinking about making a blog of my own for a while now. needless to say, i never got to it. i never knew what to say. i spent a while reading blogs to see what people write about and i realized that people don't really say anything. they just rant or analyze or talk about their favorite movie. it all seems like such a waste of time, but i already feel better after writing just a paragraph and two sentences. i guess i know why people do it.
i suppose in the coming weeks i'll have more to say and now that i have a place to put my thoughts i might let them out more often.

the only thing that comes to mind right now is my recent obsession with star wars. i always liked it but recently i have just been going crazy. i've been buying toys, starting to collect the bobbleheads they sell at target, getting mcdonald's happy meals just to get some of the clone wars toys, actually woke up early to see the clone wars, framed/hung my star wars stamps, have been watching/quoting the movies every chance i get, i read the revenge of the sith novel in like a week (usually it takes me a month to get through a book no matter how much i like it), bought the original trilogy book series... i can't even name it all. you know there might be a problem when you start saying "gequa!" to people after watching the deleted scenes in episode 1... you know, when anakin is trying to beat up greedo.
i seriously have no idea why my love for the subject has recently gone haywire.
i was going through the guide on the cable earlier today and found a star wars special on the history channel. it was like a 3 hour special (i missed the first hour) and they had actors, historians, professors, authors, news anchors (like dan rather and tom brokaw) and just about everyone else and they were breaking down the movies piece by piece. they were pointing out the historical references, how C-3po and R2 act like the comedic reliefs in ancient greek plays, and a bunch of other stuff.
it made me realize that i actually enjoy the context and deep meanings of the movies. for me it goes past just thinking people fighting with oversized glow sticks are fascinating or darth vader is a badass mofo. ever since i was old enough to get past all that, i have been looking into the actual story and finding the lessons that you're supposed to get from them. what i get from the movies actually play in real life. at some point, everyone can relate to the personal struggles with power, desire, passion, and arrogance that is focused on in almost every single movie. the greatest part of it all is that they show what it eventually leads to.
the main thing that i learned from the saga is that you will not only have to rely on someone for help, but you have to trust that they will help. you can get screwed over and probably will at least once, but it teaches you what not to do next time.

long story short... i love star wars. call me a nerd, shut me up when i quote, whatever. you can't deny that it is more than just spiffy special effects and cheesy attempts at love stories. there is a lot of substance to the saga that comes from a deeper place and it gives off a lot of wisdom when you are able to see it.





and that's all for now. if you read all of that, i applaud you.