19 August 2010

In other news...

Since I went on a True Blood rant about last week's episode I guess I'll go on another one about this past episode...


Why the F are Bill and Sookie still together?

FRANKLIN IS DEAD!!!

Jason is a dumbass. Crystal is retarded and he's going to get himself killed.

Speaking of Crystal's family, what the hell is up with Sam? He is going to pay dearly for beating the hell out of her father at Merlotte's.

Tommy is an asshole.

Holly is really, really creepy. Bon Temps sure knows how to attract the creepy ones.

Eric is a Virgo (LOL). In all seriousness, I'm surprised the Authority completely ignored him. They can't really ignore what he said after what Russell did on the nightly news. Ripping out someone's sternum will get lots of attention.

EPIC

This has to be the most epic wedding cake I have ever seen.

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/food/9-awesome-wedding-cake-toppers-2227128#photoViewer=9


AN EFFING ZOMBIE CAKE!

08 August 2010

Ok...

True Blood is really starting to turn into a shit storm. Tonight's episode was just... I don't even know how to describe what I'm thinking. There are way too many storylines going on at one time.

Sookie is afraid of Bill so they break up. Jason wants her to press assault charges on Bill for nearly killing her in Alcide's van. Sookie declines claiming she still loves Bill and that he was just plain hungry and couldn't control himself.

But wait... Jessica is very pleased with Bill coming home and can't resist hugging him and crying. However, Bill doesn't want her around anymore, releases her, and tells her to leave. She's not happy with that, refuses to leave, and he winds up teaching her shit that he should have taught her from the beginning such as combat and how to be faster.

Now there's more... Talbot is having problems adjusting to Russell's power trip and is angry that not only has Russell married the Queen of Louisiana, Sophie-Anne, and wants to leave Mississippi again to bring Sookie back to his home but that Sookie staked Lorena and Franklin's brain tissue won't wash out of the sheets. Russell strikes a deal with Eric to keep him with Talbot while he is away with his wolves in an attempt to fetch Sookie.

There's more! Now we have Jason and his idiotic quest to kill Bill for hurting Sookie, right? Kind of. That chick with the really square jaw and thin neck, Crystal, comes running to his house with a black eye and tries to take his truck so she can flee. His infatuation suckers her into sleeping with him and he leaves her in his house and runs off to her drug lair and threatens her family.

Speaking of her family, they came barging into Merlotte's asking Sam whether they had seen Crystal and claimed his truck was parked in the lot outside. Tommy, who had just left his parents to stay with Sam, tries to pick a fight with them and with Hoyt. Sam tells him to calm down and kicks Crystal's family out of his bar. He also mentions to Tommy to leave Tara alone and that he hopes Tommy will find something he will want to live for or build.

Speaking of Tara... she just returned from Mississippi with Sookie and Alcide after being held captive by an obsessive, creeper vampire named Franklin. She escaped him by bashing his head in while he was sleeping. We all know he's not dead because she didn't stake him but that's for another episode. She keeps trying to convince Sookie that she is stupid for still loving Bill and claims that he is just as cold and crazy as any other vampire. Her cousin, Lafayette, is trying to comfort her and get whatever happened while she disappeared out of her.

While we're on Lafayette, he has become infatuated and semi-involved with his mother's nurse Jesus. After Jesus discovers Lafayette is a drug dealer he runs away. However, Lafayette's mother escapes from her care facility and runs to his house to protect him from the evil of the world. Jesus comes and decides to make out with Lafayette after discovering that his boy toy is being forced to sell substances.

Who is forcing him? Mr. Eric Northman who is stuck playing chess with Talbot while Russell is away. Talbot gets bored and decides to have sex with Eric. Mind you Eric found out earlier that Russell was the one who killed his Viking family while he was still human after finding his father's crown in Russell's display case. He claims the only way to get his revenge and distract the King of Mississippi was to get to those close to him. Therefore, he stakes Talbot while they are having sex.

Almost simultaneous to Talbot's death, we find Sookie waiting in her house with a shotgun looking out at Werewolves in her front yard. Debbie, Alcide's ex-fiance, has sworn revenge on Sookie and Alcide because her current fiance, Coot, was shot and killed by Alcide. Bill and Jessica show up to attack the wolves and protect Sookie but are ambushed by Russell. He takes Jessica hostage, bites her, throws her to a wolf to be destroyed, and goes after Bill. While attacking Bill the women upstairs are still fighting. Sookie gains an advantage and gets Debbie out of her house. As soon as Russell gains an advantage on Bill he feels the death of Talbot and flies away. Sookie and Bill embrace each other and have the most graphic sex scene in the entire series so far.




The basic point of all that... there is way too much going on. That was all in one episode and there was even more that I didn't summarize.
I know what Sookie is because I know what happens in the books. I also know that her attitude towards Bill is still not accurate to the books. It is starting to irritate me because at this point it needs to be somewhat accurate or else they might as well not even try to follow anything else the books put forth. Bill and Eric should have been out of the picture by now.

Personally, I think the storylines of Arlene & Terry, Tara & Franklin, Lafayette & Jesus, Sam & the Mickens', and Hoyt & Jessica are completely pointless. Sookie and Bill is getting old, too. They need to move it along.