new camera ftw!

i finally got a replacement for my old, broken down panasonic.


i got the black one.
it was great because i'm able to shop at the air force base, and they price match, so i found the camera in the best buy ad for $199 and brought it in. i saved about $45 including tax because the base has no sales tax.

now i'm just figuring out how to use it. i need to load the software and stuff.

bitches...

i don't understand how people willingly go into a career in politics.

politics is a nasty thing. say your views to the wrong people and you'll get attacked. people that don't even know everything you stand for will make assumptions from one statement and just slam you.
no wonder tabloid magazines are so successful. they're based fully on the assumption. it's wrong.

mccain/palin

i think this pretty much locked my vote for john mccain.

honestly, i don't like him. i never liked him. i do, however, like sarah palin. i can admit that before today i had no idea who she was. i heard the name and was like, who the H is that? after doing some research on her background and her policies, i got more comfortable with the idea of voting for mccain.

was picking palin a smart move? i think so. there are a bunch of bitter hillary clinton supporters that just might vote for mccain now because he had the balls to do what obama didn't. they'll do it just to stick it to the democrats for throwing the clintons under the bus.

do i think the gop can win? i sure hope so. the thought of 4 years under barack obama is terrifying to me. the guy is a communist with less experience than anyone on both tickets. even though palin hasn't been governor for long and is younger, she's been involved with city councils and lower offices since 1992. obama was a community activist... not exactly the same kind of thing.


either way you look at it, this election is going to be very interesting. i just hope the right ones come out on top.

i hate being sick

i always seem to get sick right when it is severely convenient... sarcasm intended.

i just started school, a new job, and teaching drum lessons.
what happens? i get sick.


i was at school yesterday completely miserable and doped up on advil/cough drops because my throat hurt so much. i could barely talk without having to clear my voice after two words.
i'm glad people invented nose spray because i have to be at work for 9 hours today. it's going to be a fun day.

made my day. haha

LOL

not so bad.

school is school to me. the fact that it's college doesn't seem to phase me anymore after a year and a half.

my first day of the semester went pretty well. i like the fact that all of my classes on tuesdays and thursdays are 75 minutes. the day goes by a lot quicker than having a 75 minute here, a 180 minute there, back to a 75... etc.

a breakdown of it all:

music appreciation (9:30 - 10:45) -- it's a class of about 20-22 people. very small room with a piano, tv, and gigantic stereo. the professor is this quirky, grey-haired guy who is so quiet at times that you can't even hear what he's saying. i think i'll enjoy it. i've played instruments my whole life and know a lot about music already, so it's fun.

child development (11:00 - 12:15) -- about 40 people in this one. the professor for this one is an interesting one. it's this hefty lady with wild curly hair, glasses, tongue stud, tattoos, who is very in your face and loud. she seemed enjoyable and i can't really not take the class because i need it for my major. there's like no boys in there, too. maybe 3 or 4. the rest are girls.

intro to literature (12:30 - 1:45) -- this one is a bit smaller than the psych class, but still about 30 people in it. primarily all girls in this one, too. there are 5 guys in the class. the professor is this old hippie looking guy. bald, white goatee, turquoise earrings, turtle/wave tattoos on his arm, ranting about the DNC on the first day already... it'll be interesting.


we'll see how math goes tomorrow. i should probably do my work and not procrastinate because i have to work tomorrow morning.

one of the best videos i have ever seen.

i'm completely at a loss for words right now.





very rarely do videos and music make me tear up, let alone full on cry.
this one did.

for some reason, along with the rest of the official message board, it hit everyone so powerfully that they actually cried. but why?
is it the fact that it's a song inspired by school shootings and now has a visual companion?
is it the way amanda is walking around like an angel of death?
is it the piano chords?
is it the vocal intro?
what is it?


i don't think i really want to know.

holy crap.

so i'm in the middle of burning my sister like 50 cds (not even exaggerating) and it has made me realize something... i probably should get a new iPod.

i have a 4GB right now that i love because it's the green one and it's small. however, it's kind of a drag because i constantly have to delete and re-arrange what i have on it because my computer has like 17GB of music loaded on it, not to mention two giant boxes of cds that i haven't loaded yet. if they were loaded, i would probably have like 25 GB of music. i'm constantly getting new music, too.

so... i think i'm going to get an iPod classic. they're freakishly large in size, but all of my stuff would fit on it. that and i could actually put the album art in there too... and pictures... and maybe videos. i haven't decided on that one yet.

makes me wonder...

do the white, gangster kids know that they look like idiotic assholes?

i mean... white kids and big daddy clothes (flat billed hats and shirts/shorts that are like 4 sizes too big) do not look good. they don't even look good on black people. they make you look stupid.
waddling down the hallway because your waistband is so low that you can't move your legs is not appealing. you look like you took a dump in your pants.

i was honestly shocked

so i was with two of my friends tonight and we were trying to think of something to do. after thinking of the obvious things (movie, mall, sex store, etc.) one of us came up with the idea to go skating. i haven't been skating in almost two years and used to be really good at it so we started texting other friends to see if anyone wanted to come... long story short on that, apparently skate city really isn't cool anymore because we were the 3 that went in and the 3 that left.

when we got there we thought we arrived on a good night because there were like 5 cars in the parking lot. usually when it's busy the lot is filled. we get in line to pay (it was freakin' $6 a person. i remember when it was $2) and were surprised when we walked through the doors because the place was full of people. i thought to myself, why the hell are there so many little kids in here (by little i mean like 12-13) and then i realized it... school just started. i bet anything we came on the night of one of the middle school skate parties.
turns out i was right. there were two schools having their bash.

when we rented our skates i was a little paranoid because i was never able to skate right on the 4 wheel roller skates. you know, the ones that look like this:
i always skated on roller blades, but skate city is cheap and don't rent out roller blades and i outgrew mine when i was like 14.
we got out on the rink and i tried to fit in with the youngsters and dance with the rap music but i realized some things pretty quickly...
1. i'm like 6-8 years older than all of them
2. i'm white and can't dance
3. i couldn't skate right in those cheap-ass rentals

i have problems with migraines and stuff so after a while i was having a hard time staying on the rink but john and lu kept skating. i found it more fun to just stand on the side and people watch. maybe catch a glimpse of the kids that are, for the most part, right behind me in age. while watching i had an awakening that was amusing, but very shocking...

these kids are fucking whores.

i mean, i hear the stories of middle schoolers giving/receiving blow jobs and drinking and stuff. not to mention i was in middle school once, but it has gone farther since i was in that age bracket. these kids are gathering at certain parts of the rink and booty quaking, riding the walls (in a very sexual way), humping the walls, touching themselves, dropping to the ground and humping the floor, randomly making out with different people, randomly humping different people... basically the things that you see adults doing in night clubs, these 12 year old kids were doing it at skate city.
there was this group of kids that would gather at one part of the rink every 10 minutes, or so, and do exactly what is described above. this one boy who barely looked 12 kept going to random girls and grabbing their ass, touching their tits, kissing their neck and shoulders, pinning them in a corner and humping them, etc... the best part was that each time i saw him do it, it was with a different girl. john came and watched for a little while and we counted 4 different girls, not to mention the 2 he did it to before i had company.

i don't know about anyone else but where my mind lives that's called inappropriate public behavior. the fact that these kids were in middle school just makes it worse. i would expect that from high schoolers, but middle schoolers?!
i remember going to the skate city parties when i was in middle school and back then there were actually school officials at the parties. they put the fear into us that if we did something stupid we would not only be kicked out of skate city but they would call our parents, they'd take our name, and we would also get suspended from school. there were a couple kids that tested the threats and when we didn't see them for the next 2-3 days, no one pulled anything at the school events.
excluding the 3 of us, there were maybe 4 other adults in there. none of them were teachers or assistant principals. they were older siblings or parents. i guessed there were maybe 150-200 kids in there with no adult supervision. half of the employees on duty looked like they were under 18, too.

it's just crazy. the 3 of us kept saying to each other, "what the fuck? why was no one like this when we were in middle school? these kids are whores and they're only 12-13!"
in addition to the hump crazy skaters, there were 3 pregnant girls... pregnant 7th graders. wow. there was one girl that got pregnant when i was in middle school (out of all 3 years). now there are 3, not counting any others that decided not to go to skate city or any that haven't gotten pregnant yet. the way i saw the kids acting out on the rink i'm shocked there weren't 10 pregnant girls standing around.

is this really what our youth is going to, people? 12 year olds should be going to skate city to actually skate and have fun. they shouldn't be going to wait until the lights are down and the music is bumping so they can make out and have dry sex on the rink in front of other people.

i'm by no means prude or naive. if you knew me in person, i am very far from it... but this is disgusting and it has really opened my eyes. no wonder our youth has so many problems. there is no room to actually be a kid. i guess times really have changed. it's sad that they change so quickly.
just think... i left middle school just 6 years ago. do things go to hell in a hand basket that quickly?









and i hit a bunny rabbit on the way to the rink. john jumped out of the car, ran after it, and said i didn't kill it. he thinks i just bumped its ears but it still scared me and i still started crying.

just because.

still on the subject of nine inch nails:

i made this in march with my friends for the ghosts film festival trent reznor announced around that time.

it's not perfect but it's what you get when you put teenagers together with a video camera, an iPod, and windows movie maker... and here it is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2M3-VtDSLY



enjoy.

how addictions start.

i often wonder to myself how addictions start.

most people have super theories and have done research, but do we all believe that they know what they are really talking about? most of the time i don't think i do.

i was listening to nine inch nails last night and got to wondering... how did i even start liking this band let alone become totally addicted to them? yes, we can become addicted to music just like people get addicted to cigarettes and drugs.
the only thing i really remember was i had just started 7th grade. there was this girl that i'm no longer friends with that liked the band. i'd never really heard them and was all, ok that's cool. i brushed off her liking for about the first 3-4 months of school and then figured after a while that i might as well give them a try. before i decided to ask if i could borrow a cd the band was just kind of pushed on me unexpectedly.
back in those days (aka, the year 2001) there was a secret way to get mtv2 even if you didn't have digital cable, which i wouldn't get for like another year. if i remember correctly it was channel 55 on any tv that didn't have cable at all. the little 13-inch tv in my room was permanently set on 55 for like two years because if you changed the channel, you risked losing mtv2 forever. that happened to 3 of my friends.
i was spending one of my usual nights sitting in my room watching the crappy quality of the channel when i felt thirsty, so i left to get some water. when i came back some program had started and it was basically piano and a kind of creepy vibe. i was intrigued enough so i started to watch it not having any idea what it was, along with 99% of the stuff i watched on mtv2.
the first song titled "march of the pigs" started with this wicked drum beat and electronic melodies popping out. i just sat there in awe wondering what the hell i stumbled upon. after the song was over i didn't really know what to think. i sat there with two thoughts going through my head, "that was really cool" and "who the H is this?!"
there was a pan to the side where a logo with an N, an I, and a backwards N appearing in a box and it said the words "nine inch nails" below it. all i thought at that moment was, holy crap.

i kept watching only intending to watch for another song because it was late and i had school the next day, but i ended up watching the whole thing. i went to school the next day asking the friend to burn me every single nine inch nails cd she had. turns out as we became better friends and i got to know her mom more, her mom had met trent reznor several times (he knew her by name) and had NIN memorabilia, tapes, etc., and music up the ass. to this day i blame them for fueling my addiction, but also to this day i don't mind it. without NIN i probably would have followed the cutting, emo crowd after 8th grade... trent reznor saved my ears and my wrists.

to sum up the rest of 7th grade up until now, i listened religiously. back then if you had an mp3 player you were either asian or rich, so people like me were still stuck listening to cd walkmans until like junior/senior year of high school. my walkman had NIN in there for like two years straight. occasionally i would take them out to listen to something else, but the cd would go in the stereo in my room. every notebook, cd player, cd book, book cover, hoodie, piece of homework, backpack, anything had this logo on it.


am i still that addicted? no. i'll admit it took me until about my junior year of high school to stop automatically drawing the logo on all of my stuff, but that's still in no way addicted. since getting an iPod about a year ago i've managed to listen to the downward spiral only 9 times. up until i actually got the a real copy in 10th grade i had to re-burn it 7 times because the cd wore out... do the math. that's only 3 and a half years. how many listen throughs does it take to wear a cd out? i could tell you, but i don't want a restraining order.

am i truly addicted? in some sense, yes. i don't have a reznor shrine or stalk him or anything, but i do have 8 NIN shirts... and dozens of stickers... and two patches... and every single cd... and have seen them in concert 3 times (including buying tickets for 3x the price on eBay in order to go the first time)... and could probably win a NIN themed jeopardy match (twice)... and can point out the lyrical error in the label version of "starfuckers inc." vs. the live version... and almost got "now i'm nothing" tattooed down my forearm... and still know the words/melody to almost every single song and could recite them on cue... and know how to get the secret menu on the "and all that could have been" dvd... and waited outside of circuit city in the rain to get year zero the morning it was released... i can't even name everything. the only thing i think i haven't given into yet is i haven't joined the spiral. i still remember my NIN access code from 2002, though.


so again... how do addictions start?
i always come to the conclusion that the spark is simple. it can take something as little as how two chords follow each other, what someone's voice sounds like, what something smells like, what something tastes like, how it feels, etc.
the reason without sounding like someone that has a degree in psychology... you get a taste of something and you want more. the want and love for it never goes away. you are able to channel it, of course. if you couldn't people would never kick drug habits or quit smoking. but i guarantee if you light a cigarette around any ex-smoker, something inside of them will go, "that would be so nice."

that always randomly happens with me. something i look at will make NIN pop into my head for whatever reason, most of the time i don't even know why, and my mind says "that sounds nice."
i spend the rest of my night listening to them. it's just that simple.

let's begin, shall we?

i don't really know why i created this thing.

i think it's a combination of feeling lonely at times, wanting to piss and moan but not to anyone specific, and simply having nothing better to do online.


i've been thinking about making a blog of my own for a while now. needless to say, i never got to it. i never knew what to say. i spent a while reading blogs to see what people write about and i realized that people don't really say anything. they just rant or analyze or talk about their favorite movie. it all seems like such a waste of time, but i already feel better after writing just a paragraph and two sentences. i guess i know why people do it.
i suppose in the coming weeks i'll have more to say and now that i have a place to put my thoughts i might let them out more often.

the only thing that comes to mind right now is my recent obsession with star wars. i always liked it but recently i have just been going crazy. i've been buying toys, starting to collect the bobbleheads they sell at target, getting mcdonald's happy meals just to get some of the clone wars toys, actually woke up early to see the clone wars, framed/hung my star wars stamps, have been watching/quoting the movies every chance i get, i read the revenge of the sith novel in like a week (usually it takes me a month to get through a book no matter how much i like it), bought the original trilogy book series... i can't even name it all. you know there might be a problem when you start saying "gequa!" to people after watching the deleted scenes in episode 1... you know, when anakin is trying to beat up greedo.
i seriously have no idea why my love for the subject has recently gone haywire.
i was going through the guide on the cable earlier today and found a star wars special on the history channel. it was like a 3 hour special (i missed the first hour) and they had actors, historians, professors, authors, news anchors (like dan rather and tom brokaw) and just about everyone else and they were breaking down the movies piece by piece. they were pointing out the historical references, how C-3po and R2 act like the comedic reliefs in ancient greek plays, and a bunch of other stuff.
it made me realize that i actually enjoy the context and deep meanings of the movies. for me it goes past just thinking people fighting with oversized glow sticks are fascinating or darth vader is a badass mofo. ever since i was old enough to get past all that, i have been looking into the actual story and finding the lessons that you're supposed to get from them. what i get from the movies actually play in real life. at some point, everyone can relate to the personal struggles with power, desire, passion, and arrogance that is focused on in almost every single movie. the greatest part of it all is that they show what it eventually leads to.
the main thing that i learned from the saga is that you will not only have to rely on someone for help, but you have to trust that they will help. you can get screwed over and probably will at least once, but it teaches you what not to do next time.

long story short... i love star wars. call me a nerd, shut me up when i quote, whatever. you can't deny that it is more than just spiffy special effects and cheesy attempts at love stories. there is a lot of substance to the saga that comes from a deeper place and it gives off a lot of wisdom when you are able to see it.





and that's all for now. if you read all of that, i applaud you.