Saw 3D

Here it is...



I went to see "the final chapter" of the Saw franchise, Saw 3D, on 10/30. It has been quite a few days since I saw it and have had time to cool down and process what I paid to see.

Initial thoughts: It was terrible.
Thoughts after letting things simmer: It was terrible.

It wasn't the 3D that made this movie bad, surprisingly enough. It was the script, the acting, the traps, the execution of the story, the rushed 90-minute time slot, etc.. Nothing came together in this movie. There were way too many traps that didn't have anything to do with what was supposed to be going on (specifically the public trap), the underlying plot of Bobby Dagen was fucking retarded and way too similar to William's game in Saw VI... the list could just go on and on:

The opening credits sequence was ridiculous. Kevin, I thought you said you hated the sequence in Saw V. Why make it so similar?
Gibson was the dumbest character in the history of Saw. His dialogue was nothing but lulz and he fell into a trap way too easily.
Tobin Bell was hardly in this movie. You see him dressed as a gangster getting a book signed and that's it. I understand he's dead but he all know the significance and possibility of flashbacks at this point. Come on.
Bringing back the RBT yet again was dumb.
Jill's dream sequence was both hilarious and dumb. Her dead body snapping in half with her fake tits flying at your face was just too much.


The main things I hated:

They made Jill too much of a pussy in this movie. Looking back on Saw IV, V, and VI she proved that although she didn't necessarily agree with John's work she was able to do what he requested of her (RBT on Hoffman, framing Strahm). In this one, she runs scared to the Police and it turns out to be her kiss of death. The main mistake she made in Saw VI was leaving Hoffman's fate to chance which is where she differed from John. If I would have written this script I would have had Jill either outsmart Hoffman and get killed in the process or have her flat out leave town and disappear. Making her out to be capable of at least some of John's tasks and then making her a helpless weakling was a mistake.

They didn't emphasize just how crazy Hoffman had become. I mean, the asshole ran around the Police Dept. stabbing people in the throat for like 5 minutes. Not only that but he has a mega God complex which allows him to set up William's trap, get caught in the RBT, rip up his face escaping the RBT, sew up his ripped open face without bleeding to death, set up Bobby's game, set up the public trap, set up the car trap, set up a trap to catch Gibson, and catch Jill. All in a day's work without breaking a sweat. I mean come on. The fact that Jill went to the Police claiming Hoffman was after her didn't get enough attention which is why they fell into his traps.

I also didn't get why people weren't alarmed that Erickson and Perez mysteriously disappeared (aka, died at the hands of Hoffman in an FBI facility). They were fucking FBI agents. Someone would have noticed their absence and investigated it fully.

Gabby West, the winner of Scream Queens 2, got severely screwed over. I swear if you yawned you would have missed her. Tanedra Howard, the winner of season 1, had a good 5-6 minutes of total screen time in Saw VI and appeared in Saw 3D. Gabby was on the ground under a car tire screaming for like 10 seconds. That was it. She went through hell on a reality show against some mega bitches to win absolutely nothing.
An interesting side note that I got from Youtube and HOJ: Gabby's role was the girlfriend of a man part of a white supremacist group. She was one of two white girls in the Top 3 and wound up being the only white person in the Top 2. Having blonde hair just worked in her favor for being "perfect for THIS role." Either way you spin it the contestants of Scream Queens 2 got played.



Pretty much either way you spin it, this movie sucked.

I'll talk about how shitty the ending was later.

Top 50 Horror Films...

According to Rotten Tomatoes these are the Top 50 Horror Films of all time.

50. Misery (1990)
49. Eraserhead (1977)
48. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
47. The Mummy (1932)
46. Carrie (1976)
45. Fright Night (1985)
44. Zombieland (2009)
43. I Walked With a Zombie (1943)
42. Shaun of the Dead (2004)
41. Cat People (1942)
40. Suspiria (1977)
39. The Wicker Man (1974)
38. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)
37. Village of the Damned (1960)
36. Nosferatu: Phantom der Nacht (Nosferatu the Vampyre) (1979)
35. Peeping Tom (1960)
34. Halloween (1978)
33. Dawn of the Dead (1978)
32. Ringu (1998)
31. Martin (1978)
30. Drag Me to Hell (2009)
29. The Wolf Man (1941)
28. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
27. Dracula (1931)
26. Don't Look Now (1973)
25. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
24. The Birds (1963)
23. Dead of Night (1945)
22. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
21. Night of the Living Dead (1968)
20. Freaks (1932)
19. Evil Dead 2 (1987)
18. Låt den Rätte Komma In (Let the Right One In) (2008)
17. Eyes Without a Face (1962)
16. Vampyr - Der Traum des Allan Grey (1931)
15. The Night of the Hunter (1955)
14. Rosemary's Baby (1968)
13. The Evil Dead (1981)
12. Jaws (1975)
11. Aliens (1986)
10. The Invisible Man (1933)
09. Alien (1979)
08. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)
07. Frankenstein (1931)
06. Repulsion (1997)
05. Das Cabinet des Caligari (The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari) (1919)
04. Nosferatu, a Symphony of Horror (1922)
03. King Kong (1933)
02. The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
01. Psycho (1960)


I think Carrie and Misery should have been higher on the list and there was a serious lack of the first Saw movie. Not a bad list, though. I'm starting to really like Rotten Tomatoes.